Defining what makes you unique can feel narcissistic. That trait may be appreciated in male leaders, but most definitely not for women.
It’s a ridiculous question, really. Everyone’s DNA, history and personality are unique. So why is the question being asked? It is an open invitation to present yourself. Seize the opportunity to dictate how you want to be seen. So be smart with your answer, while keeping gender-biased expectations of women in mind.
For women, the question of uniqueness is layered with expectations. Even when the recruiter is a (trans) woman or has had DEI training, (s)he may still hold gender stereotypical ideas. With ideas about men and women taught at an early age, it is unsurprising that people continue to discriminate based on gender.
What’s actually makes a female leader unique?
As a female leader, you should be skilled and competent like any other professional. Besides this you need to demonstrate warmth, empathy, and approachability and other “female qualities” society has put upon us.
Male leaders get praised for being decisive. You risk being labelled as “bossy” for the same quality. Both men and women do this unconsciously, unwillingly yet unrelentlessly. It’s really a societal dynamic. As a result, women face the complex challenge of balancing ambition with likability, authority with collaboration.
Does this mean that you have to “accept” unfair treatment of women? No, not accept. But ignoring societies’ unspoken roles won’t get us far either. By becoming aware of gender stereotyping, facing and playing the rules, we can change the situation from within. The choice is yours: play by the current rules or put the expectations aside and see where you’ll end up?
So you are unique because you are qualified, share certain company values and meet society’s gender-biased expectations of women. To communicate this, you prepare yourself for the job interview with the three steps below.
How to prepare for your interview as a female professional
To showcase your uniqueness in a way that reflects your true self, it’s essential to highlight how your leadership style is of value to the company while meeting social expectations.
I’ve outlined three steps to prepare yourself for the interview question “What makes you unique?”.
Step 1: Find alignment in job’s skills, company values and society’s gender expectations
Before the interview, invest time in understanding the company’s key priorities. Which skills and qualities are essential for the role? What are the company values? Does the company communication often mention words such as collaboration, empathy, or innovation?
Then, how do these relate to what society wants from women? Use those company values that are aligned what society expects from women, such as:
- warmth and kindness
- caring and empathetic
- social and people-focused
- relationship-focused
- lead from “the middle” or “from within”, not top-down
Step 2: Relate COMPANY Values to Your Approach as a Female Leader
Reflect on how your skills and values align with those relevant to the job at that specific company, within the scope of a gender-biased society. Demonstrate your competence and your approachability.
As a female leader highlight what makes you unique by sharing how you embrace collaboration, warmth, ability to make tough decisions and lead with empathy.
Step 3: Use Specific Examples showcasing HOW your female leadership qualities ARE OF VALUE TO THE COMPANY
The key to a strong answer lies in your ability to tell stories that highlight your approach to female leadership. Such as stories where you demonstrate how you have balanced the need for decisiveness with an inclusive, team-focused approach.
Use examples that show how you’ve led under pressure, made difficult decisions, or innovated, all while fostering an environment of trust and collaboration.
Example: In a previous role, I led a team through a sudden organisational change. Knowing this would be distressing for some of my colleagues, I organised regular check-ins to address team concerns. My approach helped maintain morale and build trust, which ultimately ensured we met our objectives.
By sharing these experiences, you’re showing your unique self.
Suggested read: “The Authority Gap” by Mary Ann Sieghart
There are many books about women empowerment in the workplace. These books are good reads and I’ve listed two powerful, motivating books below. Before you download them on your Kindle, read another book first: The Authority Gap by Mary Ann Sieghart. Why? This book paints a more complete of the environment in which women need to climb the ladder. There are double binds and biases, that the other books don’t (always) take into consideration.
So if you feel defeated or like a failure, don’t. It’s not you. The rules are just unclear and hard to navigate. If you would like allies, the women part of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In network can be a great support.
- “The Authority Gap“ by Mary Ann Sieghart
- “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead” by Sheryl Sandberg
- “How Women Rise” by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith
The perfect answer to “What makes you unique?” (summary)
Showcase your uniqueness by sharing professional experiences that illustrate three qualities:
- How you master the skills needed for the job
- How there’s a match in company values and how you lead and inspire teams
- How your approach to leadership matches society’s expectations of female leaders
